Finding Peace in Life's Unexpected Turns

 by Erica R.

I’m a planner. Although I admire a person who poses the trait of spontaneity, I become anxious just thinking about doing something that has not been completely thought through. God in His wisdom has made us each different in this area and I happened to be on the cautious side. If you asked my sister who is one of those persons who knows what she wants and doesn’t hesitate to get it she’d say that I’m overly cautious at times. I understand that the early bird gets the worm and on that line of thought a bird who hesitates would end up hungry. The bible says it this way, “the soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied (Proverbs 13:4)”. If the truth be told I struggle with craving perfection and a fear of failing. All other striving perfectionists can relate that the desire for everything to be just right is immobilizing.

I try my best to prevent failure by controlling every situation that I can and Iplan. I nitpick every decision until I am comfortable enough that if I go through with it not much can go wrong. Now of course no matter how much I plan life throws surprises. A friend may call 5 minutes before my birthday dinner to RSVP and now I have to get additional setting or I may misplace my keys or my car won’t start and I’ll leave home later thanplanned. Still planning even the most minor details gives me a since of security. I have been writing out at least a 6-12 monthplan for my life since I was a young teenager. Over the years I started to categorize my lifeplans into Love, Finances, Education, Career, ect. Under each life goal I list tasks that I expect to help me accomplish that goal. I have to admit that all myplanning has served me well. When I do decide to take action I have thought each step through and work hard to reach my goals. “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty (Proverbs 21:5).” I’ve recently reviewed my goals for the last several months and discovered that I had actually accomplished about 80 percent of what I had set out to do. By now my life sounds pretty smooth. It sounds like I think things through, I plan and I accomplish. Well that is about right. But this whole time I’ve talked about ‘my’ goals for ‘my’life. You see I’m a Christian and that I believe that Jesus Christ died for me.2 Corinthians 5:15 says, “that He died for all, that those wholive might no longer live for themselves butfor Him who for their sake died and was raised.” If Christ died for me and Ilive for him and not myself then I should be seeking His will for mylife and not my own. I’ve known this intellectually, but I still have been hesitant to let God fully direct mylife.

Iplanned to graduate from college and I did. Iplanned to get a job after graduating and pay off my car and save some money and maybe take a few courses. Before I even walked across the graduation stage I began applying and applying and applying for work and soon after I graduated I was hired for a great position with an awesome company and a few months later I was laid off (which I didn’tplan for). No problem, I planned to apply and apply again and receive interviews and become employed again. Well a few months later I am still unemployed and still following ‘my’plan. Every morning I awake facing a plaque on my wall that reads, “For I know theplans I have for you declare the Lord.Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).” What kind ofhope and future do I see for myself if myplans aren’t working? These few months that I have been unemployed Iplanned to get busy volunteering, but nothing seemed to work out. I planned to take a class, but financially haven’t been able to. Despite my plans falling through I ironically have more hope for my future now, than I did while I was working that perfect job that just landed in my lap right after graduation. Without the business of work, class assignments, potential interviews or even a hobby I have had time to reflect on what God has done for me in the past. How God has restored my health and healed me from an illness. I have also been able to spend more time involved in ministries at church, more time praying without distractions and more time reading and talking to my Heavenly Father. Through spending more time with God I have been given peace now that I did not have while I was working to meet deadlines and to reach goals that I thought were important. I know now that I don’t need money or a title to be happy or productive. I’m praying now to be obedient to His plans for my life. Knowing that He cared for me in the past helps me have faith that whatever God’splan is for my future He will continue to take care of me. Myplans aren’t perfect and His plans don’t necessarily come with a corner office, but I choose to find comfort in knowing, “that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28)